Do you ever get the feeling that your mind is just one big pile of tangled up Christmas lights.
The kind that you haphazardly shove in the box in late January, then come back to in December and wish that you had actually taken the time to store them correctly.
You then spend the rest of the day trying to untangle them, only to realise that one of the blubs is also out and you need to go through a similar laborious process to try and work out EXACTLY which bulb to replace.
By this point you want to give up on Christmas entirely and go back to your regular boring house decor.
Long analogy short, my state of mind has somewhat resembled the above for the past week.
Tangled, confused and frustrating.
I’m just one big ball of anxious/nervous energy. The worst part is, there’s no real reason for it, at least not one that I can easily pick out.
Work has been extremely interesting and enjoyable lately, especially as we have been working closely with one of my favourite clients this week. I have also made some significant progress with Bright Ethics and am so close to really making an impact with what I do.
I’ve also been spending a lot of time around my favourite people – something which I get a lot of personal fulfilment out of.
My life is all quite exciting and generally happy, which is why feeling anxious is actually turning into me feeling anxious about being anxious.
When you run your own business, or do anything which is unusual or risky, you need to have a certain sense of fearlessness about you.
Fear can hold you back, it makes you less likely to act and take chances.
I hate anxiety because it makes me feel fearful.
I hate feeling held back. I hate feeling like a big ball of tangled up thoughts and feelings.
Is there an answer? In the short term, I just have to wait it out and trust that I will feel better, whether that is next week or the week after. I have to continue with my work without letting myself get too stressed or overwhelmed. I have to talk to people and let them know what’s going on and how they can help.
I’m not really sure what this blog space is to be honest. I um and ah between keeping it strictly professional (therefore probably quite boring) and mixing in bits about my actual life. If I’m going to do the latter, I think it’s only fair to include the good in with the bad.
My issues with mental health are part of my life and something which I am not ashamed of.
Mental health is such an important issue and we need to be able to discuss it openly and honestly, especially as it's increasingly becoming an aspect of life in the twenty first century.
So here’s to everyone else having a bad day - I’ve got your back.
It’s ok not be ok, but things will be ok.
Reductive, however I wholeheartedly believe in the sentiment.