Sunday Summation: II

Happy Sunday!

I thought I would make these round up posts a regular Sunday feature, especially as I now have a clear run of Sunday's off all throughout August and September. Hurrah for weekends!

There is something quite therapeutic about going through your experiences from the past week and condensing them down into a post. Compiling a list like this is akin to flipping through a mental scrapbook, you end up reliving snapshots of your favorite moments, people or places.

The past week has generally been quite frantic and sometimes pretty stressful. This gave it a productively manic quality, as my work swept me along with focus and purpose. It feels good to live this way, even if you end up crashing out in bed every night.

Sucre Kitchen Magazine

1. Cake Talk

As I mentioned in last week's Sunday Summation, I have been working on an extremely interesting side project, Sucre Kitchen Magazine

Our final deadline for copy is now looming just beyond the weekend skyline, something which fills me both with extreme excitement, but also a slight tinge of anxiety. 

I just want it to be really good, really really bloody good. In everything I do, I have extremely high standards and expectations. 

Putting this kind of pressure on myself is both a blessing and curse, as it can help me produce great work, but can also result in a state of panic and inaction.

I'm extremely confident that our first issue will make an impact, we have great contributors and a wonderful designer working on the final look. 

Keep your fingers crossed for me on September 1st, which is when it will land in everyone's inbox!

2. Getting to grips with YouTube

To be honest, I am still very unsure about what my place actually is on YouTube. I'm not your typical vlogger - I don't want to show you my fashion purchases or beauty hauls. I don't want to necessarily show the intimate dealings of my life either. 

I guess I just want to talk. I want to put my opinions out there and spark debates, perhaps inspire people to look at the world slightly differently through adding my voice to the crowd. 

There is also a creative part of me which wants to simply share the things I love - being outdoors, engaging in debates about the world, visiting interesting places and talking to interesting people. 

There is also the, (what I guess can only be described as), narcissistic part of me which wants to talk about myself and my life. I want to share things I have uniquely experienced (because after all, we all have our own sole and unreplicated viewpoint on the world.)

My vague plan is to continue to experiment with different types of content until I find my "place", or perhaps I may even realise that there is no need for a concept of "place" in the seemingly infinite world of online video.

We shall see!

the habit york

3. Taking time off

Des and I have been making a concerted effort over the past few weeks to really segment our days into work and play time.

Working from home can lead to some serious blurring between the two, which often means more work than play. Especially when it's so convenient to switch your computer on and just answer one last email, or finish off one more thing on the never ending to do list.

Part of our strategy has been to take an evening walk after we have put our work down for the day. This forces us to get away from our various screens (I have 6!? how did that happen!) and get out into the "real" world.

Having the city of York right on our doorstep means that there is always something interesting to go and see, even if that just involves going to to the pub and trying a new beer. 

Poverty makes you small.
Hope contracts, hearts shrivel,
Throats close up.

Days become leaden,
slow moving and cumbersome.
Weight, dead weight,

I am weight unshifting.
I am categorised as burden
Though no hands hold me up.

Choices contract with you
Until you are left with nothing.
— Leviathan, July 2016

4. Creating 

I had a pretty lengthy mental debate with myself over whether to put a snippet of my poetry in this post or not.

I have actually always been amazed by the power of awful poetry to inflict the highest level of cringe inducing discomfort. Perhaps my work above induces that feeling for you, for which I apologise profusely!

All of my writing, be it for my blog or for work, is indicative of someone who is working to hone their skills and constantly improve. 

Creating things, art, work or anything really, always happens in a state of flux and change. You are never static, as it is by producing new work that you grow and develop your own voice, tone and style. 

Despite my fear of inadequacy, I wanted to share this little snippet mainly because I can't stop thinking about it, also I suspect that I'm not alone in sentiment or experience.

Anyone who knows me well can attest to the fact I have, in the past, been very poor. To the point where I had to make the choice between food, rent and/or heat.

This was also the time when I was suffering from acute depression and anxiety, which basically left me unable to work and function normally.

I'm by no means claiming that I am disadvantaged, because in fact I am extremely privileged for so many reasons. However, I have had a brief and terrifying glimpse into the pit that is poverty.

If you ever wonder why I share SO many guardian articles on twitter, or bang on about how our society needs to fundamentally change.

This is why.

5. Summer Songs

Ever since I discovered Joni Mitchell at the age of 13/14, I have always associated her music with summer.

I'm not really sure why! It's perhaps one of those connections which is rooted in a long forgotten experience. A summer afternoon sat listening to album upon album in my parent's garden, perhaps.

Anyway, here is a slice of my summer to anyone who cares to listen.